I am almost 20 years old and i am 6 weeks pregnent. My boyfriend and i are working hard to save money for the baby but neither one of us knows how much money we should be saving at least to be in the clear? Any advice would help.
Kudos to you two for thinking ahead! It's a sign you can be great parents.
You want to save every penny you can.
There are a few things you don't need to spend money on – bottles, formula, crib, changing table, stroller, most clothes.
Nurse your baby for at least two years. Not only is it cheaper, but your baby will be far healther, no ear infections which are ungodly painful – and formula lowers iq and causes diabetes.
Cribs – little prisons for babies. They evolved to sleep with mommy and should – it helps nursing relationship, helps mommy sleep.
Changing table – ridiculous, babies squirm so much it's better to change them on the floor.
Stroller – silly detachment tool – get a sling.
clothes – if you have a nice enough climate, most babies and toddlers prefer to spend their time in their diapers.
Lots of baby books, like 'what to expect' preach detachment. They tell you that you will be sad to separate from your baby but your baby won't. These are bizarre lies people are telling themselvse for obvious reasons – to justify not parenting once they become parents. Read books by people who actually love and care about kids – Dr. Sears "The Baby Book," Penelope Leach's book, Brazeltons – The Irreducible Needs of Children, and the fabulous essays at Natural Child Project: http://www.naturalchild.org
Read a lot about nursing, go to la leche league.org and get connected locally so you have the support you need. Avoiding those ear infections that come from bottle use will make learning this ancient skill so valuable – without even considering all the other money saving health benefits and emotional and intellectual bennies.
It would be good to look into getting an annual membership to museums/children museums/parks etc – places you'll love to take your baby and want to have paid when you're not scrimping and saving. Start getting board books and picture books at yard sales or library sales.
Figure our your living expenses and save enough to meet those on one salary. We went deeply into credit card debt to live after the birth of our son and it was worth it, but savings would have been nice!
I tried to work, thinking it was the right thing for all of us. Not only does the research show it is a disaster, my son was with his devoted, doting dad and screaming bloody murder for me night after night. Babies need their mommies and the very most important thing you can give your baby is no separation from mommy in the first three years or so of life. The rewards in your baby's health, intellect, emotional stability, independence (yes, getting what you need makes you independent!), and the health of your family will outweigh any sacrifice. (Yes, the NICHD research that shows day care is so bad for kids, even if daddy is the 'day care' also shows that day care use hurts the family bonding.)
I'd look into spending some money on a marriage license and using it. Overall, a child has a much better chance if mum and dad are married. Especially when times get so overwhelming tough as they do in the baby's early days – tough offset by incredible bliss – it's good to have that committment. Sometimes, the committment is the only thing that holds a relationship together and sometimes, especially at times of major upheavel, relationships need all the help they can get.